英语原文

How Could Anything That Feels So Bad Be So Good?

　　 Maybe it is time to adopt a new strategy in trying to figure out1 why life today is so difficult, and what can be done about it. Assume that not only are things often not what they seem, they may be just the opposite of what they seem. When it comes to human affairs, everything is paradoxical2.
　　People are discontented these days, for example, not because things are worse than ever, but because things are better than ever. Take marriage. In California there are about six divorces for every ten marriages--even higher in some of the better communities. One must admit that a good deal of discontent is reflected in those statistics. But the explanation so frequently offered--that the institution of marriage is in a state of collapse--simply does not hold. Marriage has never been more popular and desirable than it is now, so appealing3 in fact, that even those who are in the process of divorce can scarcely4 wait for the law to allow them to marry again.
　　The problem is that people have never before entered marriage with the high expectations they now hold. Throughout history, the family has been a vital unit for survival, starting as a defense system for physical survival, and gradually becoming a unit for economic survival. Now, of course, the family has become a physical and economic liability5 rather than an asset6. Having met, as a society, the basic survival and security needs, people simply don't need each other anymore to spin7 yarn or wash dishes or repair electrical plugs8 for that matter. The bonds of marriage and family life are no longer functional9, but affectional10. People used to come to love each other because they needed each other. Now it's just the other way around11. They need each other because they love each other.
　　Listening to the complaints of those recently divorced, one seldom hears of brutality12 and desertion13, but usually something like, " We just don't communicate very well" , " The educational differences between us were simply too great to overcome" , " I felt trapped in the relationship" ," He won't let me be me" , " We don't have much in common anymore" . These complaints are interesting, because they reflect high-order discontent resulting from the failure of marriage to meet the great expectations held for it. Couples now expect--and demand--communication and understanding, shared values and goals, intellectual companionship, great moments of intimacy. By and large14, marriage today actually does deliver such moments, but as a result couples have gone on to burden the relationship with even greater demands. To some extent it has been the success of marriage that has created the discontent.
　　The disturbing15 paradox of social change is that improvement brings the need for more improvement in constantly accelerating demands. So,compared to what used to be, society is way16 ahead; compared to what might be, it is way behind. Society is enabled to feel that conditions are rotten17, because they are actually so good.
　　Another problem is that everything is temporary, nothing lasts. We have grown up with the idea that in order to develop personal security we need stability, roots, consistency18, and familiarity. Yet we live in a world, which in every respect19 is continually changing. Changes are coming fast and faster-- in a sense20 change has become a way of life. The only people who will live successfully in tomorrow's world are those who can accept and enjoy temporary systems.
　　Instead of trying to reduce the discontent felt, try to raise the level or quality of the discontent. Perhaps the most that can be hoped for is to have high-order discontent in today's society, discontent about things that really matter.

注释：

1.figure out [美口]想出，理解，搞清
2.paradoxical adj.似非而是的
3.appealing adj.动人的，吸引人的
4.scarcely adv.几乎不，简直不
5.liability n.责任，义务，倾向
6.asset n.(有交换价值的)所有物，利益
7.spin vt.纺
8.plug n.插头，插座
9.functional adj.实用的
10.affectional adj.感情方面的
11.the other way around 相反地，倒过来
12.brutality n.暴行
13.desertion n.离弃
14.by and large 大体上，总的说来
15.disturbing adj.引起烦恼的，令人不安的
16.way adv.[口]远远地，大大地，非常
17.rotten adj.[口]令人极不愉快的，极不幸的
18.consistency n.一贯，前后一致
19.in every respect 无论从哪一方面，在各方面
20.in a sense 从某种意义上说